Column: American Space Oddity

Dear readers,

Last week, six celebrity women were launched into space. It was the most out-of-this-world lineup since the Spice Girls.

The crew included Katy Perry, Gayle King, Lauren Sanchez, Aisha Bowe, Amanda Nguyen, and Kerianne Flynn.

Ground Control to Katy Perry; it was definitely a cosmic-sized event, both Oprah Winfrey and Khloe Kardashian showed up just to watch.

For you readers who don’t keep your thumb on the throbbing pulse of pop culture like me, here’s a crash course: Katy Perry is a pop singer known for her explosive stage shows (appropriate for a rocket launch); Gayle King is Oprah’s bestie and host of “CBS Mornings”; Lauren Sanchez is Jeff Bezos' fiancée (Space Amazon Prime?); Kerianne Flynn is a movie producer; Aisha Bowe is an actual rocket scientist (finally, someone qualified!); and Amanda Nguyen is a research scientist and Nobel Prize nominee.

The countdown began with a ritual as sacred in rocket launches as “lights, camera, action” is in Hollywood.

The tradition started when Fritz Lang introduced the countdown in his 1929 film “Woman in the Moon,” proving that sometimes, life really does imitate art. At exactly 9:30 a.m., the ladies blasted off from Blue Origin’s launch site in Van Horn, Texas, embarking on an 11-minute joyride to space.

You read that right. The entire trip took less time than I spent in line at the Shelbyville Dairy Queen on a hot day last summer just trying to get a blizzard.

Anyway, this space flight was historic. It was the first all-woman space trip since Valentina Tereshkova piloted her Vostok 6 Soviet spacecraft way back in 1963. In those days, the USSR was ahead of the USA in both the space race and women’s rights.

For perspective, it would be another five years before American women got their own cigarette brand, “Virginia Slims,” and 20 years before Sally Ride became the first American woman in space. Fast forward 62 years, and we finally have another all-female crew. 

Valentina was the entire crew in 1963. She wasn’t just the first woman in space; she holds the distinction of being the only woman to fly solo. For three days, she orbited Earth 48 times, more than John Glenn and all the other American astronauts combined at the time.

Now, here’s a fun bit of trivia. Using the rules from the parlor game “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon,” I’m only three degrees away from Valentina herself: David Garst once bought me a hamburger at the Burger Chef in Shelbyville. David Garst met Nikita Khrushchev, who congratulated Valentina on her return from space. And just like that, I’m tangentially tethered to cosmic history.

Now back to our 2025 heroines: No sooner had the women landed from their 11-minute flight than the critics started claiming it was just a crass PR stunt. Sure, Khloe Kardashian showing up for the launch might have been a PR stunt, but let’s give credit where credit is due. These women weren’t just posing. They were floating, tumbling, and, yes, even singing in zero gravity.

While in space, Aisha Bowe held up a patch representing the Bahamas, Katy Perry serenaded the void with “What a Wonderful World” and wielded a daisy like an intergalactic magic wand, and the crew defied gravity with handstands and mid-air acrobatics that would make Cirque du Soleil jealous.

Upon landing, Perry and Gayle King kissed the ground like jubilant pilgrims returning from a long journey. OK, maybe kissing the ground after an 11-minute flight was a bit much. 

But now, the federal government is threatening to rain on their celestial parade. Since none of the crew members played an active role in piloting the flight, there’s talk of classifying them as “space travelers” rather than astronauts. Astronaut schmastronauts, these women are already famous, and “space traveler” still sounds pretty cool.

Congratulations to all of them on making it to outer space and back again. 

See you all next week, same Schwinn time, same Schwinn channel.