Column: Hooves, hats and horses

Dear readers,

Last Saturday, while most of Shelbyville was pondering whether the remodeled Walmart will enhance their shopping experience, Shelbyville was once again the center of the horse racing universe.

The Indiana Derby at Horseshoe Indianapolis made its annual appearance complete with fast horses, bourbon, hand rolled cigars, and women sporting fascinators. Oh yea, and some of the greatest jockeys of all time.

Let’s talk athletes. Not the kind who can throw a baseball over a hundred miles per hour, or play football for the Colts, but the ones who can make weight at 126 pounds and control a 1,200-pound thoroughbred. More than one Hall of Fame jockey who has graced the cover of Sports Illustrated was riding in the Indiana Derby this year.

Leading the pack was Hall of Famer Mike Smith, a man who’s been winning races since some of his competitors were in diapers. Smith turns 60 next month, an age when some men just watch sports on TV from their recliner. 

Smith casually explained his secret for competing with jockeys half his age: “I don’t have to be faster than the other jockeys. My horse just must be faster than their horse.”

Smith became only the 12^th jockey in history to win the Triple Crown when in 2018 he rode Justify to victory in the Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and Belmont.

John Velazquez was the other Hall of Fame jockey riding on Saturday. Velazquez has won the Kentucky Derby three times.  He hasn’t won the Triple Crown, but professional sports are all about “show me the money.”

Velazquez is the leading money-earning jockey in the history of the sport. 

By my calculation, he left Shelbyville with about half a million dollars more to add to his already $318-million-dollar career earnings.  

When it came time to place a bet, I carefully looked over all of the horses in the field and then did what I always do, placed a hunch bet. Sometimes I bet on the horse who winks at me when in the paddock. Sometimes it is just because I like the color of silks worn by the jockey. On Saturday, the decision was easy.

Years ago, jockey John Velazquez first big win in America was the Ticonderoga Stakes. Now, you longtime readers know my first column was written with a No. 2 Ticonderoga pencil.

Coincidence?

Fate?

Voodoo?

Armed with this cosmic trivia, I bet on Velazquez’s horse, Tip Top Thomas (main photo). And as luck would have it, I won. Velazquez and Thomas didn’t just win, they obliterated the track record, finishing the 1 1/16-mile race in 1:41.15.

That’s faster than a Shelbyville rumor spreading on Facebook.

Now, let’s talk Shelbyville’s identity crisis. 

We’re the only city in the entire state with a thoroughbred horse track. That’s like being the only guy at a potluck who brought caviar, yet we keep acting like we showed up with a bowl of three-bean salad purchased at Walmart.

In the past, some believed it a funny “put down” to refer to Shelbyville as “Shelbytucky.”

Newsflash: We’re named after Kentucky’s first governor. A comparison to Kentucky is a complement not an insult. The only Hoosiers who tell Kentuckian jokes are those who suffer from an inferiority complex. 

Kentucky has more NCAA basketball championships than Indiana and our thoroughbred horse track isn’t as famous as Churchill Downs or Keeneland, but for one glorious Saturday a year the biggest horse race in the country is in Shelbyville.

If our new brand, “Shelbyville, Next door, Next level” doesn’t pan out, maybe we should officially change our name.

I see the new signpost, “Welcome to Shelbytucky, shoes optional.”

See you all next week, same Schwinn time, same Schwinn channel.